21wks and counting!

I have kept a daily (weekly) journal from the day I found out I was pregnant, but didn't want to turn it into a blog at the start in case... Well, in case I miscarried. Although I realise 21wks is hardly home and hosed I feel more comfortable keeping a blog now, knowing that I'm this far along. The story so far..

April 27th, I was 11DPO on my 2nd round of clomid and got my positive test!! This is how it happened.. (Taken from my personal journal on the day)


Wednesday April 27 2011,
I am so shocked. 11DPO and I took a pregnancy test at 5am. It was an internet cheapie that takes 5 – 10 mins for the results.. I waited 5 minutes before going back to bed. I didn’t cry, but I was angry at testing. I lay in bed thinking I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t cope with the disappointment each month. I started thinking about how I would do 1 more clomid cycle and look at getting a referral to do IUI. I figured I wouldn’t have a 30th, I would spend the money on IUI..
I slowly drifted off to sleep and kept dreaming about all these pregnancy tests that had a 2nd line. The dream was so real. When I woke up again at 7am, I took a look at the test I had taken. Sure enough, there was the 2nd line..
I couldn’t get excited yet, it had been left for 2hrs. It was cheap, I thought it may have been an evaporation line, so I did another test.. The 2nd line came up, but was very very very feint. It was there though, but I still couldn’t trust it. I looked at the clock, it was around 7.15. The chemist opened at 7.30, so I had a shower and went there for a first response test. I know they detect early, and do not have evap lines. I took the test and sure enough within the 3 minutes there was that 2nd line. I AM PREGNANT!!!! It is so early and I am fucking terrified. I am terrified of every step of this pregnancy. I am scared I will wake up tomorrow and get my period. I am not even due til about Sunday or Monday..
I have to take this day by day and set goals. I can’t even think about doctors appointments yet. I just keep thinking it’s so early.. I am 3wks+4 today, and the baby is due on January 7th 2011. I love this baby so much already. I love Taite and Seth, and wish they were here. I wish I wasn’t so scared.
At this stage I do not want to find out the sex of the baby. I don’t care. I just want to bring it home alive.. Day21 progesterone was 175.6


The following weeks after I waited for my period to come but it never did and those test lines just got stronger. (I think I did 8 tests in total).

Fast forward to 10wks and I bled but Button was fine.. 12wks, again I bled, this time lots of blood and I thought it was it, but yay, Button was still fine!

14wks I had a cerclage (cervical stitch) and recovered from that well. Started progesterone pessaries at 16wks. Braxton hicks started at 16wks which I was paranoid about but I tried not to worry.

I felt anxious leading up to the 19wk scan, as that was when things started to go wrong with the twins. Sure enough 19wk scan showed my cervix was open to the stitch. I have been bed resting ever since although, there seemed to be a different opinion from different Drs. I went back a week later and scan showed cervix was closed, and according to the Dr that day, it was never open, it was just fluid making it look open on the scan..

I am going back in a week (2wks from last scan) and hopefully my Dr, Dr P, will give me a straight answer.

In the meantime I am still bed resting and I am taking vitamins to boost my immune system and also calcium magnesium which seems to have calmed down my braxton hicks. I am bored not being able to do anything, but Button comes 1st and it will all be worth it when I hold my baby in my arms :)