Day 94, 95 & 96 - Happy new year!

Not a lot has happened over the last few days, Jett had cuddles on new years eve in the arvo, he was wide awake and very alert :)He slept the new year away though, I was there at the stroke of midnight and he was fast asleep :) Ventilation is remaining stable he is on about 29% oxygen and up to about 33% for cares etc..

He had his wash and weigh yesterday he weighs 3685gms but he looked like he had a bit of edema, they are using 3590gms as his working weight. Since he has been on the potassium sparing diuretic they haven't needed to add potassium to his TPN, he has had blood gases the last 3 days in a row to check his potassium levels and they have been good. His CO2 has been much better since his rate has been increased to 40, his CO2 was 65 yesterday and about 71 today I think.

Today Jett has another eye test :( they are going to do his first though because it is cuddle day again. I was supposed to have him after his arvo cares but now I have to wait til they have done that. I am hoping a cuddle will settle him though after the trauma of the test. I hope it makes me feel better too,I feel like crap, I'm exhausted and emotionally drained. I am feeling very anxious when I have to leave Jett now he is more awake. He has been totally off the morphine and medazalam since Friday night.. He is so alert and a real wriggle worm. He is so beautiful, I love him so much, I need to have him home, my heart just aches to have him in my arms. I have been having trouble sleeping even though I am so tired. It's so awful and unnatural to leave my son and I hate the thought of him crying without me there to comfort him. I can't wait for the day he is home so I can just snuggle him all day and night, I want to be able to sleep next to him not in a different building, I don't want to have to leave him ever unless it's my choice and I feel ok to do do it. I hate having to choose between sleeping and being with my son, eating and being with my son. I just want a normal life with my baby. I want it to be how it should be.

New years even snuggles :)