Day 48

JETT

Last night I went to do Bubby's cares and he had been moved. The light in his new room was very bright and he didn't like it. I didn't like having him in that room, we want our old spot back!

He had a couple of brady's last night, but recovered quickly. It makes me paranoid.

His vent rate went back up to 40 last night with the move. He was desatting and just not recovering. They also increased his PIP up 1. Today though, the pip has been reduced although the rate has stayed the same.

There's talk about the drain that's in his abscess coming out, not sure when, but probably in the next few days. His Morph and medaz have been weaned a further 4mcgs, so he's now only on 12. I really hope he still has some M&M's on board when they remove the drain..

Nothing much changed today, he was looking a bit more puffy this arvo, but his urine output is still good so they are just watching it.

His HB was 89 and originally Dr D wanted to transfuse if it was under 90, but it means having an IV put in. She said she'll wait til it gets to 80 before transfusing, hopefully his veins would have recovered a bit and IV access might be a bit easier. They are only doing 8th hourly gases so they are not taking as much blood from him.

I am used to the room he's in now.. It has the most windows, so during the day he is in mostly natural light which is good. There is also a park we can see from his window, that's where we are going to release balloons for Taite and Seth's birthday on Monday.

MUMMY

Today was not a good day for me. The fact that my baby may not make it was at the forefront of my mind for some reason.. I woke up and just wanted to cry... All day. I really hope tomorrow is a better day.

The thing I hate about Jett being in an open cot is that he hates bright light and in the open cot he isn't shaded from it like in the isolette. He seemed a bit better with it tonight, although the lights weren't too bright. If it's really bright when I go back they'll have to do something about it. He squirms and squints his eyes when it's bright. I couldn't imagine trying to sleep in that either, poor baby.

I went and got a massage today. I wanted an hour, but I started getting anxious being away from the nursery. A nurse had him that hadn't had him before so I wanted to make sure I was there for his cares. I still enjoyed a half hour massage though, then got back to my baby :) Tried giving him as much nappy free time as I could but he needed a suction, so it wasn't long.. He loves kicking his little legs..

I bought a diary that I keep by his cot. In this blog I write a lot of clinical stuff, so in that I want cute personality stuff. So far one nurse has written in it, and I wrote him a letter. If I can write down what his personality is like on that day, I think it would make an awesome keepsake and an interesting read for when he comes home. It's also nice to know what nurses are looking after my Babe and what side of his personality he displays that day.. :)

I am so tired. I went for an U/S today and whatever is going on with my uterus is still going on. My cervix is open and my uterus is full of clots. The radiologist said it hadn't changed since my last scan 4wks ago. She also thinks it isn't retained product it's an Arteriovenous malformation (google it, it's too hard to explain :) lol) Either way, my body has issues. I can't believe that all I have ever wanted was to have kids and I have had so much trauma associated with it! My Lil Jettski is worth it though, it's just really hard knowing he is it. No more kids. He simply HAS to make it!!!!