Day 21

JETT

No news is good news, he is much the same, occasionally needing extra oxygen for handling etc, but stable. Still on mama's milk, 1ml every 3hrs. Some milky aspirate, but nothing concerning. He is one line less again today, his cannula tissued this morning, but they don't need to replace it at this stage..

MUMMY

Feels like shit, is tired and frustrated. I have a note on Jett's cot stating that I must be present for cares. Today we have a nurse we haven't had before, so she phones me at 8, telling me Jett's cares will be at 10. Fine, I will be there. I organise to put washing on (I had my blood soaked clothes from last night to wash) then started expressing. During my expressing, the nuse phones and tell me Jett's cares will be done at 9.. It was quarter to and I knew I couldn't get there. I told her that, and told her I wanted to be there but she said she had to suction him and tend to another baby. I was so pissed off I hung up on her and bawled my eyes out. I finished expressing and went straight to the hospital, no brekky or anything, I just wanted to get there. When I got there she had done Jett's and was doing the other bub.. Then went on a break at 10 past 10... Hmm, I'm thinking that's why she moved the cares up.. Next cares are due at 3, during quiet time, I told her I would be there and conveniently she is going to stretch it to 3.30..

I went out to get the pump to express again and ran into the social worker. As soon as she asked how I was I burst into tears and told her about my scary experience last night, then about the nurse with his cares. She went and spoke to the CNC and reassured me I wasn't over reacting. Cares are very important to me, and I was so pissed off that the nurse wouldn't wait for me. Anyway, hopefully it's sorted now and we don't have her much. Nurses need to realise that although it's routine for them, Jett is MY baby and I need to be able to mother him as much as I can..

I left to have some lunch and a nap, while my bub was passed out on his tummy.. He is just so beautiful. I love him so much!